The Staycation Of A Champion – A Prelude

This is actually Waikiki, but trust me after we're done this will feel just as good
This is actually Waikiki, but trust me after we’re done you won’t notice the difference

Next week your best friend forever is going on a week’s vacation from everything.

Unfortunately after reading that sentence most of you likely threw your IPad on the floor, woke your spouse or pet and told them to put on their clothes and get out of the house because your world was over.  For any of you who are left here, please let those other sensitive people know that my blogging is not included in that vacation.  It especially isn’t included after reading the VanCity Buzz’ description of a staycation, which lost me at the second paragraph where they asked:

“When was the last time you flew a kite?”

Yes, according to Van City Buzz flying a kite is almost the number one thing to do when you’re hanging out in Vancouver.    *Sure*.    To be fair, the author of this article might be under the age of 7, I don’t know.  But I *do* know that if you are looking for staycation expertise, your first stop should not be the aforementioned article from the “Van City Buzz”, obviously a coded reference for getting high.  In fact, if you think about it… “flying a kite”, “going to Steveston”, “have you been to the wind turbine”, “summer is coming”??  All subtle nods to an altered state of consciousness.  Almost too subtle to be seen.  However anyone trained in critical literary analysis like yours truly can agree that “What’s a Vancouverite to do?” actually means “I’ve got a dealer at Hastings and Main”.  It’s all in the tone.

Now, for those of you who’d like to remain drug-free for a potential staycation (or vacation) in Vancouver, luckily you have someone who is uniquely qualified to guide you and that someone

a) knows Vancouver better than you know yourself

b) is on a vacation next week where he is not going anywhere *other* than Vancouver

c) in a triumphant example of synergy in literature, will be tying into the “What A Real Man Eats” that we promised last post *and* simultaneously tying into this post as well.

But for now, get some rest and prepare for the most exhausting staycation you’ve ever seen!!

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